A colleague came up with that. He comes up with 30 jokes a day, most are cringe-worthy at best. But once every 3 months, he comes up with dynamite like this. I tried to add one more joke in it to add a personal touch but I couldn't. It's a gem of an original.
(On a related note here's an article you should read. And this reference.)
I posted it on my Google Buzz feed (crediting him of course) and it was hit with all the pretty ladies and one dude. Here's proof:
This brilliant chapter of my life has inspired me to write a movie about me and my colleague. It begins with me making an important and impressive presentation at work. Here it is established that I'm a ruthless, shrewd, go getter in life with amazing business acumen and a brilliant sense of humor. My colleague asks a few questions which are very stupid but I answer each of them properly because deep down I'm kind and big hearted.
After the presentation, out of nowhere, he cracks this joke and all of us go crazy after hearing it. He just shrugs and takes the appreciation that comes his way. Then we forget about the joke. This shows that he is not an ambitious character. He is vague about what he wants and is content with whatever is handed to him despite having the potential to do more with his life.
The next day he makes it his Google Status but doesn't publicly share it on Google Buzz. I Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V it and post it on my Buzz feed (giving him credit obviously) where it becomes all the rage and by being reshared repeatedly, it finds its way to the inbox of people from all over the world. I've got a nice song in mind for this sequence with lots of very quick cuts.
Encouraged, I post it on my twitter but here the dark side of my personality takes over. I don't give him credit. It's a great success. Eventually, Sachin Tendulkar retweets me. Variants develop as people from all over the world start swearing in Marathi and make it a trending topic. The Shiv Sena and the MNS both want to felicitate me and be 'on their side'. I use my power to broker a peace deal.
I write a book, do stand up shows, give inspirational talks and my company flourishes.
I am the fucken juggernaut by this time and I literally have to peel the girls off me when I go on the streets but I stay loyal to the girlfriend as is shown in a sequence in which Kristen Stewart unsuccessfully tries to seduce me at an after party.
But while all this happening, the colleague has gone mental. A gollumization has occurred and in all shots of him now onwards he will be pictured hunching in dark rooms, talking to himself, eating common pests and scheming a revenge plot. He feels I have wronged him, not given him his due (true) because I have always been jealous of him and hated him (untrue).
He thinks I'm a problem, he decides to fix the problem. From a bell tower. With a sniper rifle.
Now obviously I wouldn't want a movie starring me to end with me dying an abrupt death or a slow, emotional, tear jerking death. It would also be lame if the colleague decides to kill himself because men can live with shit they've done so long as it was
a) a crime of passion
b) only once
If they do it more than once, they accept themselves for what they are (a monster) and tell themselves that they would've understood or have done the same if they were in their shoes and have forgiven them.
Getting back. He manages to 'fix' the problem and as my sexy sexy wife (I'm traditional like that) weeps over my stunned, dying self... we see him making walking away. That's how it ends. With a big fuck you/fuck yeah depending on who you sympathize with. That's life bitches.
Fuck you if you think it's impossible, @shitmydadsays is being made into a CBS sitcom starring Captain Kirk William fucking Shatner himself so there.
