Conjuctivitis

I have conjunctivitis. I am happy. Normally people are unhappy when they get conjunctivitis. They mope around complaining about how careful and clean they always are. They hate having conjuctivitis.



Not me. I spent my time productively. Planning how I'll spread conjuctivitis. I like conjuctivitis for many reasons. I cannot, however recall all of them at the moment but here are a few:
Having conjuctivitis gives you an excuse to lie down with your eyes closed for a while every now and then. When you don't have to do anything else but just keep your eyes shut and scratch yourself. Or sing, or spout poetry and prose. Or think,about physics, maths, dead baby jokes, that match the other day.

Conjuctivitis is a challenging word to type without looking at the screen. I like to type challenging words without looking at the keyboard till i'm done. Notice how many times I've typed conjuctivitis out in this post, it's 9. By the end of this post, it'll be 13 times. Thats one more than a dozen.

Conjuctivitis makes eyes look cool. Yeah, the swelling sucks but pothing is nerfect right?

Now, plan of action to spread the conjuctivitis, inspiritation derived from Rant by Chuck.P.
Codename : Operation Spreading the Cheer
Soundtrack: Born To Be Wild covered by Slayer


First phase of operation Spreading the Cheer is to spread it in immediate surroundings:
How: Sleep on room mates bed. Use neighbours laptop, touchpad as location for germs to pick up new hosts. Use the water cooler, ironing equipment, lift buttons, places and objects people touch a number of times daily.
In fact i partly implemented this plan, the lift part, the watercooler part, laptop and touchpad. My roommate's bed is too dirty for even a pig to lie on, couldn't bring myself to do that. I did go through every paper and magazine in the common room especially the sports sections. Considering the match that it was and we won, everyone would want to read everything printed about it.

Secaond Phase of Operation Spreading the Cheer would be to go to a public place and do the same thing there. Touch doorknobs and handles, light switches, taps, etc. This phase is not very well thought out as after all, I'm not that wasted, wanting to spread conjectivitis and shit. I did manage to execute most of it at McDonalds. Another location on my mind is Crosswords, imagine all those people thumbing and leafing through all those books and then rubbing their eyes. Sitting ducks. All of them. Including those pesky little kids. Whom I love to trip. At those promotional book stacks,you know the ones with all those hardbound books which come tumbling down on the little rats. Suckers!

On this jovial note I bid adieu, My prelims began tomorrow and so do my studies for them.
Auf Wiedersehen